A little on Auditions

*Unrelated note, Twelfth Night closed a few weeks ago.  It was well received and sold out for most of the run!  I don't like to talk about endings, though, so 'nuff said.

I had another audition today for a play titled Sylvia by A.R. Gurney.  It's actually quite a funny play.  I know I did a good job, because I got called back, so we'll see how it goes tomorrow.

Personal business aside, I would like to talk about the audition process for a bit.  I've noticed two things that puzzle and annoy me during these past two auditions.

The first thing, the puzzling thing, is the clothes that people wear to audition in.  Namely females.  I understand that it is important to look nice, but seriously, ladies, high heels and short skirts or dresses is a logical choice for an audition.  First of all, many women who wear high heels have no idea how to walk in them and look elegant.  Most of them look like they're going to topple over at every instant.  In the audition you want everything about you to exude confidence.  It is very hard to do that when you walk like a penguin in heels.  And just to address the dresses: don't do it.  I know it's tempting and you may look lovely, but it severely restricts the movement you can do without a) ruining your dress and b) exposing yourself to the director!  Wear a skirt if you want to, as long as it is long and allows for movement.  Honestly, the best thing to wear is a good set of jeans that you can move freely in, a shirt that allows the same free movement, and a pair of shoes that you can actually walk in!

The second thing, the annoying thing, is the comments that people who wear the dresses and heels make.  They roll their eyes if asked to move at a pace faster than an old woman's shuffle.  I overheard one very nice woman say that she was not going to get down on all fours (Sylvia is actually a dog.  It's a strange play....) and if the director didn't like it she could suck it.  Now, this is wrong on so many levels, namely being that as an actor, especially an actor looking for a job, you never ever say the director can suck it, whether or not the director can hear you is immaterial.  Taking that attitude toward the director will color your audition, and believe me the director will see it.  Directors have seen hundreds upon hundreds of actors audition, and they can immediately tell who has it and who doesn't, and by "it" I am not talking about talent.  I am talking about a willingness to work with the director.  Taking the attitude of "I DO WHAT I WANT" is, frankly, stupid, because as an actor you don't always do what you want.  You must sometimes bow to the directors wishes.  If you take that attitude during the audition, the directors will notice, and they will not call you back.

So there, two things that annoy me at an audition, even if when people do those things, it gives me a better chance of landing the role, it is still annoying.

The most important thing to remember is that acting is a lot more than mere talent.  There are a lot more traits that the director looks for in potential actors than how well you delivered lines.  As soon as you step into the theatre your audition has started, so be prepared and vigilant.

Opening Night

It is finally here.  Opening Night.  After all the toil, after a week of run-throughs and tech rehearsals, where we sometimes wanted to run ourselves through, it finally all came together in a night of glory.

Opening Night is an amazing phenomenon.  During rehearsals, we actors can forget how good the play is, no matter how many times the director tells us that we are doing well.  We question how funny our scenes are, and forget that there are other moments of humor.  On Opening Night, it all comes rushing back to us because we finally have the missing puzzle piece that completes the play: the audience.

Without the audience, the right audience, a play will never reach its full potential.  Tonight's audience was the right audience.  Not only was it sold out (EEP!) but they were full of laughter.  They laughed long and loud, not only where we expected them to, but in places that we had forgotten held potential comedy.  It was, in a word, beautiful.

The applause.  O, how I have missed that wonderful applause, and not just applause, but the cheers of approval.  Those things lift my very soul. (Not to mention the faint "I love you Annie!" that my sister shouted out.)  The applause is a wonderful immediate validation of all our hard work, and it lets us know that we have not performed in vain.  It is a wonderful thing.

As for the inner workings of the play itself, I believe it went extremely smooth.  There was one slight near cafuffle, though.  You see, I have a hat as I play Cesario.  Sebastian has one, too, because we are twins you see.  I was about three minutes from going on stage after Intermission when I realized with a start that I had left my hat in the green room, on the other side of the theatre!  I jump up, quietly, and run around through the shop to the other side.  I say run, but really I did more of an awkward jumpy tip toe, because one must be extremely quiet back stage, and that is very hard to do with my clunky man shoes.   When I get to the other side, I see Sebastian sitting serenely in a chair, his hat in hand.  I rush up to him, grab his hat, whisper urgently "I left my hat in the green room, I need this!" and precede to hop back as fast as I possibly could.  I made it just in time for me scene.  Thank heavens Sebastian was backstage and not in the green room, else I don't know if I could have made it.  At the time, my heart was pounding, but it is much funnier looking back on it, especially since nothing horrible came from it.

After the play, there was a meet-and-greet.  The best thing about that was that they had free food!  As soon as we exited the stage from the curtain call, we all ran up stairs in a frenzy getting out of our costumes as fast as possible.  We all wanted that food.  (It was good, though you could tell it was definitely free.)  The meet-and-greet was so much fun.  It is always nice when your friends come up and tell you how wonderful you are, and very gratifying when strangers complement you on your work.  It really does make us feel on top of the world.  My director came up to me after the show, and said very simply, but very intensely "Wonderful, Wonderful job.  Truly Wonderful."  That was one of those perfect moments.  I am very glad that I made him proud.

My first instinct is to take judicious notes of everything that I did and try to replicate that for tomorrow's performance, but I know better than to do that.  For the past few rehearsals the entire cast has been given the same notes:  Listen and be honest.  One of the reasons that tonight worked so well is that we finally started to truly listen to each other.  The audience helped us to bring out the honesty and truth in the lines.  So for tomorrow, I will not try to replicate every facial expression, gesture, and inflection of tonight.  Instead, I will listen to my fellow actors.  I only hope that tomorrow's audience will be as good as tonight's.

I cannot wait to do it all again!

Finding Viola

I had an incredible rehearsal last Friday.  It was so incredible (as was the weekend that followed) that I have been unable/unwilling to write about it until now.

But now I have homework looming in front of me and a script to go over (because my first theatre mentor said: Go over your script every every day) so, of course, now is the best time to write about it!

The rehearsal started off with just myself and the director.  People think auditions are nerve wracking, and they are, but one on ones with the director are, in my opinion, even scarier; however that could just be me and my fear of disappointing people, so let's move on, shall we?

We started with the characterization of Viola/Cesario.  My director (I'll just refer to him as D from now on, it's easier that way.  #lazy typist).... where was I?  Right.  D had me stand on stage in a neutral position and then had me characterize Viola from the ground up.  She stands with the weight on the balls of her feet, leaning forward a bit.  She's curious and interested in people; she wants to help them.  Her hands are clasped in front of her, right in front of the stomach.  She's an optimist and tries to think well of all she meets.  Her head is slightly cocked to the right; she listens to people, and is often amused by what she hears.

Viola came to me quite easily, which is odd, because for most of the play I am not Viola, I am Cesario. I had a lot of trouble with Cesario, and I still don't think I have him fully.  This is Viola's attempt at being a man.  At first I tried doing a John Wayne impression, but that didn't really fit the setting (1920s), nor did it fit the lines.  Cesario retains Viola's love and interest in people, but she is able to be much more active and vocal as Cesario.  I will continue to work on the characterization, but I do know a few things.  The head tilt goes away; Cesario holds his head up high, except when he's around the duke, then it's bowed down a bit.  His hands are either in front of his thighs or crossed.  The shoulders are broad and the pelvis is thrust slightly.  Now, this is probably not how a normal man would walk, but I'm doing a woman's caricature of a man.  It's difficult, but I think I'm settling into it.

After that exercise, we started in on Viola's big speech.  It begins "I left no ring with her.  What means this lady?"  As I was saying it, we did another exercise that is probably my favorite thing to do in the theatre.  D would snap his fingers and I would have to change from Viola to Cesario or vice versa.  So much fun!  It helped me find places in the monologue where Viola is channeling Cesario and when she is being honest.  I've taken that exercise and applied it to the entire play, so now I have a much better idea of when I'm totally committed to the role of Cesario and when I let him slip and show Viola.

After that, Olivia and Orsino came in and we worked the two wooing scenes and the two scenes where Orsino sends me to woo her.  All four of those improved by leaps and bounds!  We cleaned up the blocking and did some serious character work.  I found that Viola has empathy for Olivia, she too lost a brother.  Viola understands Olivia's mourning, and she also envies it, because Viola cannot mourn.  She doesn't have that luxury.  And in the second tete-a-tete with Orsino, I school the heck out of him.  D made me sit for most of the scene and have Orsino stand, and I rule him with my lines.  Even though I'm sitting for a few moments I have complete control and teach him a lesson he sorely needs.  It is absolutely amazing!

And now the guilt of ignored homework as grown too great, so I must depart and be studious.  Cheerio!

Short and Sweet

Well, we got the cuts to the script.  All our hearts, including the director's, were bleeding as we went through them.  Cutting Shakespeare is difficult and painful, but it is necessary sometimes.  In our case, the director wanted it cut to 90 minutes.  That's a lot of discarded lines.  Painful, but necessary.  It was interesting to see the reactions as he read out the cuts.  Some people were relieved that they now had less to memorize, but the true ones were sad as they went over all the wonderful lines that they weren't going to say.  It may seem kind of silly, but certain lines are simply fun to say, whether it be the emotion behind them, the action or reaction to the line, or the wording and phrasing of a line.  Some lines are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them.  'Twas well writ.

Since yesterday's rehearsal was just about getting the cuts down so that everyone knew what was going on, today's rehearsal has all the meat on it, though, I'm afraid that meat is a bit lean.

We only have about three weeks until the show is up and running (heart attacks happening now!) so we're getting into the nitty gritty details, only they're not quite nitty and gritty yet.  We have to have awkward and slightly repetitive details before you can upgrade to nitty gritty.

Today was an odd day for me.  I wasn't sure if I was "on" or "off."  I certainly gave everything I did my all, but I sometimes think that I could have done a better job, especially IIv.  That scene is going to kill me.  I thought the scene in IV... scene iii I think...was going to be difficult, but it's the Wooing of Olivia that is the hardest to encompass.  I could probably rant and rave about something for a while, but I'm getting tired, so goodnight!

The Important Things

I learned two very important things in rehearsal today.

1.) White men can't jump, but green men can. (Hulk saving Iron Man in The Avengers)
2.) Wolverine, due to his regenerative powers, needs no restorative period after coitus.

This is what happens when you give a bunch of nerdy actors an indefinite break during rehearsal.  From Batman to the X-men, from Mass Effect to Star Wars, we covered everything and anything.  Nerds usually get animated when talking about nerdom, and actors get animated over anything anytime, anyplace, anywhere.  I'll leave it to your imaginations to picture how we raved and gesticulated.

Our director actually had to call us back to rehearsal twice before we responded, and rebuked us once for rowdiness onstage, but he wasn't annoyed.  A play is only as strong as it's cast, to play on an old phrase, and a cast cannot be strong without bonding.  And nothing bonds geeks more than arguing over canons, or commiserating about tri-colored endings.

But onto the actual meat of yesterday's and today's rehearsal.

Yesterday was a large step forward for me, because I finally started to internalize the Viola that our director envisioned, instead of the stereotypical self-righteous woman that I turn to when characterizing.  It never ceases to amaze me how difficult it is to play characters simply, freed from all the method-acting detritus that supposedly makes "real" characters.  No one comes to the theatre to see an actor feel.  That would be a boring, pointless production.  Not only would the play be tedious and overwrought, but the acting would be horrendous.  You can't play 'sad,' anymore than you can play 'happy' or 'angry.'  Emotions are not created in a vacuum, they are born out of relations with other people.  The best way to go about finding your character is to listen to what the other people on stage are saying.  Listen and React.  The emotions that come from your character's reaction to what the other characters are saying are going to be much more true than those coming from a complicated process of dredging up personal memories from the depths of your psyche and torturing yourself until you feeeeeeel the character.

But, let us move away from my soap box towards tonight's rehearsal.  We have blocked the entire play now, blocking the last act tonight.  During the final scene, we stumbled upon a passage that confused both the actors and the director.  It is the speech of Orsino's directly after he has been spurned by Olivia.  It is very exaggerated and stuffed with flowery language of how Orsino will kill that which he loves as a sacrifice to the "raven with the heart of a dove."  The actor playing Orsino delivered the speech with such vitriol that I suddenly realized he was talking about killing Cesario/Viola, since Olivia loves him/her.  I asked the director (because it isn't polite to question your fellow actors about characterization) if Orsino was indeed plotting to kill me.  Rehearsal came to a bit of a standstill as the three of us, myself, Orsino, and the director, tried to puzzle out the meaning of those lines.  We finally came to the conclusion that Orsino isn't actually trying to kill Cesario/Viola, but rather having a reaction (hey wasn't I just talking about reacting earlier?) to the spurns of Olivia in front of the court, almost as if he's having a tantrum.  Even so, the director promised that we three would get together to work on that little part of the scene.

The last thing of note that happened in tonight's rehearsal is that I was struck by how important blocking is to the effectiveness of a scene.  In the downtime when we were waiting for some late actors to arrive, (early is on time, on time is late, late means you're fired!) our director had Orsino and I run through the latter part of II,iv, where Orsino sends me to Olivia's for the third and final time.  When we had run through it a few days earlier we had both been standing close to one another and it was awkward for the both of us.  Today he started out by having us stand on separate edges of the stage, but stopped about five lines into the scene.  It was simply a bad staging:  it looked wrong; it felt wrong; it was simply wrong.  Then he had Orsino begin by sitting and motioning him to join me.  As I joined Orsino on the floor, something clicked for us and the scene took off.  The emotions and lines flowed freely and the rest of the movement was born out of those natural emotions.  It was a magical moment as, for the first time, we started to see the play truly come to life.

Well, that's it for the first week of rehearsals.  We'll be getting the cuts to the play soon.  That will be interesting....

Until next time!

Occam's Theatrical Razor

One of the problems I encounter when I embark upon characterization is that I tend to overcomplicate things.  I also tend to fall into two types.  I usually begin with a strong, angry woman, or a tortured, despondent woman.  Now, there is nothing wrong with these types, though there are many more out there, but I begin the play and the scenes at a zenith already.  I have nowhere to go, no growth to accomplish.  This rehearsal tonight was a step away from that pitfall of mine, and into a much better way to work on character.

Occam's Razor is a philosophical idea or premise or whatever they call it, that roughly states that when faced with multiple explanations, the simplest answer is the best and most acceptable.  I need to apply this thinking when I approach my characters.  I clutter the lines with overwrought and complicated emotions, losing the main focus of the scene.

For example, one of the scenes we worked on today was the "wooing of Olivia" scene, where Viola, dressed as Cesario, and Olivia meet for the first time.  When I auditioned and cold read this scene, I played it full of mournful sighs to the audience, completely wrapped up in the misery of Viola having to woo a woman for the man that she loves.  My director thankfully stripped all that fluff away and gave me a very clear goal: Stick to the plan.  Viola has written and memorized a nice speech and she is going to say it to Olivia come hell or high water.  That is her goal, her motivation.  She doesn't get her goal in end, but that's another story.  My director's way of doing makes so much more sense then the way I originally approached it, because last night we had already established that Viola, far from being completely in love with Orsino by the end of Act One, is just beginning to admit her feelings for Orsino.  Orsino has sent Viola to woo, and, for respect, friendship, and the beginnings of love, Viola has decided that she will woo with all her might.

With the new motivation, that scene, which I thought was going to be difficult is proving to be easier than I had imagined, though I shouldn't have worried, because I ran into a truly difficult scene during the last half-hour of rehearsal.  It's in Act II scene iv, the first part only, where Feste is singing to Orsino and his court.  I do not have any long and drawn out speeches, instead I have a few lines scattered throughout the scene.  I've always find that scenes where I speak less are always more difficult that scenes where I speak more.  Fewer lines means more work and thought for the actor, because the character doesn't have a speech or monologue to help clue us in to what they are feeling, they only have a few sentences, but in those few sentences they have to have a full character as if they were a soliloquy from Hamlet.  It will be a good challenge for me.

My director said something to me tonight that not only helped me figure out II,iv, but will also impact everything I do with Viola.  He told me that the hardest thing about Viola is not acting like she is concealing anything.  He told me that I shouldn't show the audience that I'm concealing a gender secret, I should actually conceal it, totally and completely.  I was showing the audience that I was concealing things, that was my whole idea behind Viola, that is what I did when I auditioned for her, and yet my director is having me go in a completely different direction.  He wants a funnier, less despondent Viola.  It makes me wonder why he picked me if my initial characterization was so far from what he wants...I don't know why, but I'm incredibly glad that he did.  This is proving to be a most amazing show and an incredible learning experience.

Plus, it's a barrel-full of fun!

A Classic Blunder to a Stronger Character

I have been cast as Viola in a production of 12th Night or What You Will (this is the only Shakespeare play with a double title, possibly because Ole Bill was making fun of a pretentious double-titled play that Ben Johnson as written a few months earlier.)

Anyway, this is exciting to me, and I enjoy writing about things that are exciting to me, so I'm going to write about my journey as I move through these rehearsals and discover the character of Viola.

Let us begin with an amusing anecdote.  It is the friday of the first week of rehearsal, and we are finally getting to move about and begin characterizing.  All of the actors sit in a circle and perform their scenes in the middle of the circle.  We're all having a blast and being generally ridiculous when ridiculosity (Shakespeare made up words and so can I) is called for.  The final scene approaches and Viola is finally reunited with her long lost twin brother Sebastian.  Sebastian and I are very emotional and excited by this scene, obviously.  There is a point when Viola cries out, "I am Viola."  I approach the line and pass it, but as soon as I say it, the entire cast falls down in laughter, leaving me standing in bewildered silence.  When someone finally tells me what I said, I join them on the stage floor in gales of laughter.  Instead of "I am Viola," I said, still completely in character, "I am Volivia!"  Thank you, ladies and gentleman, Volivia has left the building.

Amusing anecdote done with, let's get on into characterization.  My first thoughts about Viola without even looking at the script were that she is in love with Orsino and she is going to have a lot of fun double meanings in her lines, and will be exquisitely tortured by the love triangle between Orsino, herself, and Olivia.   I worked with these initial feelings and plastered my script, in pencil thank heavens, with notes about how this line was an admittance of love and this line was a double meaning, and this one was tortured, etc.  I even went as far as to change the punctuation of a line slightly so that I could make it seem like Viola already had a tiny crush on Orsino.

I went into the first big rehearsal tonight full of these wonderful thoughts.  Of course, by the end, they had all been tossed out and new ones put in their place.  I feel victim to one of the classic blunders, though at least I didn't go up against a Sicilian when death was on the line.....

Our director said two things during rehearsal today that resonated with me.  The first thing he said was that the lines that you speak should never be simple exposition.  This is true with all plays, but Shakespeare especially can become full of monotonous explanations if you don't put a personal emotion and reason behind everything you say.

The second thing our director said was a piece of advice that seems so self-evident, yet I had never thought about this before.  He told us that decisions should not be made off-stage.  They should be made onstage where the audience can see them.  Seems simple, right?  I've often found that the most helpful acting tips are the simplest things that you never manage to think of yourself.  I guess that's why we need teachers.

This might not seem like a big deal, but it completely changes how I play Viola.  Instead of starting Act I; scene v already in love with Orsino, I am now just discovering that I love him in this scene.  The other scenes I have will be a deeper discovery, understanding, and acceptance of this love, which gives me a fun and exciting character arch to play with!

The other scene we worked on tonight was I,ii, the first time the audience sees Viola.  I had originally cluttered it up with double meanings and the like, but our director quickly cleaned things up, making the scene about nothing more that Viola and her friend the captain trying to figure out how to survive in this strange land of Illyria.

The Viola that I started out with is very different from the Viola that came out tonight.  This Viola, the Viola that the director wants, is a lot more honest and straightforward than the Viola I had envisioned.  I think that this simplification of Viola will ultimately be better than my initial interpretation.  Simple and clear character choices always read better onstage than the convoluted drivel you create in the isolation of your home.  This is why rehearsals are so important.  No matter what you come up with outside before the rehearsal, afterwards, you almost always come out with something new.

Strip Boozkin: Kill the monsters! Steal the Treasure! Stab your buddy and Cut Loose!

While playing Munchkin with my fine friends, I was struck with a brilliant idea, which unfortunately, did not let me win the game; however, in the aftermath, my friends and I created rules for a new munchkin game, the game to rule all munchkin games.  We call this game:  Strip Boozkin.

The Rule


If you lose a level, you remove a piece of clothing.

         

      If you lose an item of clothing, you remove the corresponding piece of clothing; if you gain an item of clothing, you can put back on the corresponding piece of clothing.

      

      If you gain an item of clothing without having stripped, you may add another piece of clothing to your wardrobe.

      Take off an article of clothing when you run away.

      Cheat cards can be used to regain an item of clothing.

     Wishing rings and other curse removers can be used to avoid drinking or stripping.

     Drink every time you go up a level.

      Drink for every card you discard.

3     Drink when you change class or race.

     

     When you change gender, take two drinks.

      

      If you die, finish your drink!

Celestial Affairs

The sun kissed me awake
Leaving electrical imprints on my eyelids.
I let it lap at my skin,
Blushing at its wanton curiosity.

Don't be jealous of the sun, my love,
And its golden attention to me.
The sun was kissing me, my love.
It was not kissed by me.

The moon caressed me asleep,
Tracing over my shivering skin.
I let it lay over my body,
Reveling in its milky softness.

Don't be jealous of the moon, my love,
And its silver attention to me.
The moon was kissing me, my love,
It was not kissed by me.


It had been pointed out to my that my poems were getting rather depressing.  So here's one full of whimsy!

Chattanooga Nights

My legs are light and floaty
Better to lie down
Prostrate on a sheepskin rug
Of scratchy softness
The night is clear but
My eyes are cloudy
Other people swim in the fog

We laugh for no reason
Trying to find ourselves
In alcohol and herbs

I am a lover says one
I like words another declares
I live for art says the third
They turn to me

What am I
A runaway in an old ballroom
Hiding shame and uselessness
In pallid artistry

I am a flapper I say
Oh how the chorus cheers
I slink back into smoke oblivion
No future
Foggy present
Just a flapper with a past



 No punctuation in this one.  It's an experiment.  Did it fail or succeed?  Need more info?

A really long post full of poetry, probably bad.

Excerpt from Say it with Flowers, a play by Gertrude Stein

George Henry, Henry Henry and Elisabeth

Henry.

Subsidiary characters.

Elisabeth and William Long.

Action in a cake shop and the sea shore.

Other interests.

The welcoming of a man and his dog and the

wish that they would come back sooner.

George Henry and Elisabeth Henry and Henry

Henry ruminating.

Elisabeth and William Long.

Waiting.

Who has asked them to be amiable to me.

She said she was waiting.

George Henry and Elisabeth Henry and

Henry Henry.

Who might be asleep if they were not waiting for me.

She.

Elisabeth Henry and Henry Henry and

George Henry.

She might be waiting with me.

Henry Henry absolutely ready to be here with me.

Scenery.

The home where they were waiting for William Long to ask them

To come along and ask them not to be waiting for them.

Will they be asleep while they are waiting.

They will be pleased with everything.

What is everything.

A hyacinth is everything.

Will they be sleeping while they are waiting for everything.

William Long and Elisabeth Long were so silent you might have heard an egg shell breaking.  They were busy all day long with everything.

Well, isn't that a weird mish mush of oddity.  I think so.  We read this and a few other poems that had characters (gasp!) and dialogue (gasp!) in them.  Such innovations!  She charged to write a poem with at least one character and at least one line of dialogue.  I am not kidding you, folks.  One character and one line of dialogue.  What a slave driver this woman is!  She also encouraged us to write in the above style.  This is my response:

Say it with Memes, a parody

Me, myself, and I

And him.

Other characters.

Cats in tubes.

Time: Irrelevant

Place: Improbable

Action is OM NOM NOM

The trolling of a man on a forum and the

Wish that noobs wouldn’t feed the animals.

Me myself and I and

Him talking.

Cats in tubes.

Surfing.

Some places I never go.

He said he was surfing 4chan.

Me, myself and I and

Him.

What does Philosoraptor really mean?

Impossibru.

Me, myself, and I, and

Him.

Success Kid shares stories with Challenge Accepted.

Forever Alone is waiting in the dark.

Scenery.

A multi-universe tumblr world where Ponies live in chaos.

Will they keep to canon or make their own.

Everything is possible.

What is everything.

A double rainbow is everything.

Friendship is Magic and the Ponies know it.

He and I were so quiet, except for the clicking of keys and the expletives pouring from our mouths.  We were busy killing zombies.

An Acrid Sonnet

That sallow sour sow upon your arm
Is green with joy of treasure freshly won.
Your insipid sanguine smile follows
Fawning at the feet of your new love.
I wish you well with your fair trollop, boy.
May you stay firmly grounded in the Earth
Of salt mines and of clammy compromises.
Had you but asked, I would have set you free
To seek her bitter bosom's black embrace.
I don't know much of rules and love and war,
But I have learned thanks to your guiltless guile.
Plain truth is better than a sweetened lie.
            I hope that this is less than what it seems.
            May her cold facts be better than my dreams.


Note:  There is nothing wrong with my current relationship!  We are still happy sunshine joy bubbles!  Don't worry! I'm just experimenting with a different voice. ^_^

Hypothetical illogical argument

In Castle, a tv show that I watch with unabashed glee, defines knowing when your in love as the moment when all the songs make sense.  Romantic and appropriately poetic, but, it made me stop and think for a moment about myself and my own run ins with Love.

I thought back onto my childhood, and I realized that even as a young girl, I knew what the songs meant. As soon as I was able to process abstract concepts, I knew love.  I watched it in movies, heard in it song, read it in books and poems; I even created it within my stuffed animals (each animal/doll/troll had to have a match, no matter the improbability.  And I still see no reason why a blue rhino and a purple elephant falling in love is such a stretch of the imagination.)

So, if we go with Castle's definition on how we know we're in love, then it would stand to reason that I've always been in love, because I have always understood them.

Of course, I could be deluding myself.  I could very well mistake understanding love for the longing of love, but I don't think so.

The romantic in me wants to believe that I've always understood love, because I've always been in love.  With my family, with the world, with my life.  And, perhaps, with my dear sir.

This logic will probably never hold up with argument, but it makes me smile.  That's all I require.

Unauthorized Autobiography

Born in light and bred in laughter
Three sisters, friends for ever after
Two Classic parents who never age
One girl whose life is for the stage

Bred in laughter, raised in love
Such blessings sent from Him above:
A place to stay and food to eat
And helping hands to guide my feet

Raised in love to live for fun
My life has only just begun

(and yes, I'm aware that an autobiography cannot me unauthorized.  It's a joke.  You may laugh now.)

January 3

The third day of the new year was Warwick Castle and Stratford-On-Avon.  Such a wonderful, but tiring day. 

Warwick Castle was neat!  Becca, I think you’ll flip out to know that I believe some of Merlin is filmed there.  Neat, huh?  Anyway, not only was it a medieval castle, but later on the early 20^th century, it was a house for the Duchess of Warwick, otherwise known as Daisy, from “Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer, do.”  Cool, huh? 

Once again, Madame Tussaud’s work was everywhere, both in the mediaeval part of the castle and in the Edwardian part.  It was fun to look at, and at one point, there was this was figure of a porter that scared the pants off of me, ‘cause I thought it was real, but on the whole, it was rather Disney-fied, which isn’t a bad thing.  I just prefer my castles straight, if you know what I mean.  Give me four walls and old stone, my imagination will do the rest. 

We did get to see a really wonderful show on owls, though!  I we got to see Ernie, an Eagle Owl, and Oscar, a Barn Owl.  Ernie was big and powerful, and so amazing to see fly.  Oscar was so pretty, but he was younger than Ernie, so he misbehaved sometimes.  Not to mention the fact that it was rainy and windy, and Oscar was having a lot of trouble keeping upright in the wind. 

After that I went to get tea, ‘cause I knew that we weren’t going to have a change to eat any lunch.  I had my first taste of clotted cream, and it was good!  Tasted a bit like butter, only slightly sweeter.  I liked it a lot!!

After that, it was off to Anne Hathaway’s house and Stratford!  Anne Hathaway’s house was fun, and very very small.  I saw a chair that the family said Shakespeare use to sit in when he came a’courting.  I got to go inside of Holy Trinity Church and see the grave of Shakespeare, but, unfortunately, we didn’t have a lot of time to sit and revel in the memory of him, it was back on the bus to Shakespeare’s Birthplace.  That was great!  I got to walk on the floor where he walked and through the rooms where he grew up!  It was great fun!  But by this time, we were all exhausted, having gotten up at early and been going all day long.  My stalwart friends and I decided to go to a pub, The Dirty Duck to be precise, (though it was first known as the Black Swan) and take a load off.  I finally had fish and chips!  Hand-fried Halbot.  YUM!  It was so GOOD!  DROOL!  I also had some local ale, Abbot’s Ale.  It packed a punch, let me tell you!  We sat there and whiled the hours away until it was time for the Royal Shakespeare Company’s production of Measure for Measure!

What a disappointment.  I’m completely serious.  No fault of the actors, though.  Entirely the director’s fault.  It was a post-apocalyptic setting.  Post-apocalyptic.  Measure for Measure.  WHAT?!?  Awful awful awful.  Then the costuming was ridiculous!  The duke had this stupid brown corset on that looked like something from Elmer Fudd’s closet of shame! Ugh.

Then the whores!  They were all BDSM.  Leather and spikes.  Very racy and pushing the envelope in what is socially acceptable to see onstage.  Unfortunately, they pushed the envelope in the wrong direction, because in the scene where Angelo propositions Isabella was so weak!  There was no tension!  I didn’t see Isabella’s horror, because Angelo didn’t do anything terrible!  He was acting like a douchebag, but he never laid a hand on her, so it seemed like her terrible horrified reaction came out of nowhere.  That was sort of a theme in the play though, because when The Duke proposed to Isabella that too came out of nowhere!!  There was no moment of tenderness, no inkling that they even liked each other!  The only clue we got was the first meeting that the Duke and Isabella had, and when he exited, he made it very clear that he lusted after her, but love?  It never came into play. 

I have much more criticism, but this entry is long enough.  Suffice it to say, my first RSC production was a disappointment.  The delivery of lines and acting was impeccable.  I found no fault in that.  It was the director who mucked it all up. 

So today is January 4, and I’ve finally caught up with all my journals!  It’s taken me awhile, but I’ve done it!!  Huzzah!!

January 2

I woke up rested and ready to head out!.... to class.  I forget sometimes that this is not just a pleasure voyage, but an actual class.  We had a summary of the 39 Steps, and a bit more on the technical language of the theatre, then we were released.  I knew I had a matinee at 3, so I decided to do something quick, but fun:  Baker Street!!

The Sherlock Holmes Museum is a wonderful thing to see!  They did it so well!  In the first floor they had set up the sitting room and Sherlock’s bedroom in exact detail, keeping with the books and the pure Victorian Style.  They even included the VR (Victoria Regina) shot into the wall whenever Sherlock is bored.  So much fun! 

The second floor, where Mrs. Hudson’s and Dr. Waston’s rooms should have been, was more of an exhibition.  They had some of Madame Taussad’s (I have no idea how to spell that) wax work figures of some scenes from the books, and throughout the rooms, there were little props from the movies and reconstructions of all the little details from the books, like blow pipe from the Sign of Four.  So much fun!!  It was wonderful!

I was snapping picture after picture, and one of the helpers in the museum remarked how nice it was that someone was taking pictures of the museum itself, instead of just themselves in the museum.  I then started to notice how true that was, not only in the museum but everywhere I went.  People always seemed more interested in documenting how they were somewhere, instead of the somewhere they are!  Isn’t that odd?  I think it is.

Anyway, after that it was time for my first play of the day:  Pirates of Penzance!  The Barbican Theatre was in a part of London that I had never been to before.  It was all steel and glass and very well to do.  Thankfully, no one at the Barbican seemed to mind that I was wearing corduroy pants.  They all seemed really pleased that I had such a keen interest in Gilbert and Sullivan. 

The play was wonderful!  The orchestra was right on the stage, and the chorus was behind them.  The main actors traipsed about onstage.  It was so much fun!!  They did a really fantastic job!  It was hilarious and the singing was great!  Frederic was so naïve and innocent, a real ham!  Mabel matched him to a T!  The Pirate King expertly buckled swash, and the Chief of Police was a big fat guy, who sang his songs expertly!  And General Stanly!  He was fantastic!!  A thin wiry guy, he was so wonderful!

At one point in the play, the Pirate King slapped his chest, but he accidently hit his microphone!  It made a huge booming sound, and the Pirate King looked embarrassed for a split second, and then he launched into a small bit of improv about how he had such a large heart and big chest.  We all laughed and then he went on with the scene and slapped his chest again, only he missed the microphone.  Then he shook his head, and slapped his microphone again!  We all lost it!!  After that, it was Ruth’s turn to speak, and she tried slapping her chest, but her microphone was a in a different place, and it didn’t make a booming sound, and she shook her head dejectedly.  The house roared with laughter!!  It was great! 

After that, I dashed home to grab my ticket for the 39 Steps, when I ran into Dr. Cannon and Holly!  They were going over to Yo!  Sushi, which was right next to the theatre.  They asked me to join them, and I gladly accepted!  It was so much fun!  The sushi goes around the restaurant on a little conveyor belt, and you just grab and eat whatever you want!  You can tell how much the sushi costs by the color of the plate.  It was such a fun place to eat!  Yay for sushi!

And ZOMG the 39 steps was fantastic!!  I loved it so much!!  So so so good!!

I completely adored it!  It was very campy, yet at times, it was very emotional.  For instance, when Richard, the hero,  was in the home of an ugly scott with the pretty wife, there were some very poignant emotions being played on the stage.  It was a very mature moment and I was very pleased that they had the courage to put that in there, right in the middle of a very comedic and slapstick play.  

The actors were phenomenal.  The main leads, one of whom looked alarmingly like Cary Elweiss, was wonderful as the determined hero of the play, always keeping a straight face no matter the hilarity that the other two men were performing at the moment.  Sometimes they were annoyed by them, and other times they were flat out ignored them.  

I was so impressed with the actors stamina!  You could see the sweat dripping down their faces, but they never relented their break neck pace.  The two supporting actors awed me with the different characters and voices they did, and how they were all so different, and how they managed to keep each individual character separate and unique.  Just amazing!

At one point in the play, He was giving a speech to the public, i.e. us, and he asked a question. I wasn't quite sure if it was rhetorical, so, when he asked the question again, I thought we were supposed to answer.  So I quietly said, "No?" and he looked at me and said, "Thank you!"  It was so funny!  

One of the most magical parts of the play was at the very ending.  It ended at Christmas time, and they made it snow out of the window in the back of the stage, then when they came down to take their bows, it started to snow on the audience!!  It was only foam, of course, but it was the most magical thing ever, when it had just started.  So beautiful!  I was sitting in the front row, so it was coming down right on top of me and it was so wonderfully awesome!

New Years

This might be a bit long.  I'll try to keep it entertaining, 'cause it certainly won't be short!

December 31

We had a day trip today to Dover and Canturbury.  Dover was first.  I was completely amazed and awed. 

We first set down on Dover Beach.  While there is no evidence that I was standing on the very beach that Matthew Arnold stood to be inspired for his poem, it felt like it.  I could see why he was so inspired.  The day was grey and cloudy and the sky and sea just blended into one expansive bowl.  The beaches were rocky, so I picked up a rock, just so I could have a rock from Dover beach.  I had an amazing view of the White cliffs of Dover.  So incredibly exciting!!  They were absolutely beautiful.

After our quick stop on the beach, we went up the hill to Dover Castle, but we didn’t immediately go into the castle at first.  We first went into the secret WWII tunnels underneath the castle, where Churchill ran most of the war.  That was absolutely phenomenal.  They did an amazing job recreating the sights, sounds, and smells in the tour we took.  I know this was an illusion, a video screen, but at one point, I saw a soldier at the end of the tunnel, and he looked at me before turning and marching off.  I could feel the ghosts of that place, and I am not ashamed to admit that my eyes were a bit misty throughout most of it.  The courage and triumph and fear and despair that went on in those tunnels are so humbling. 

I was wide-eyed instead of misty eyed when we were released from the tunnels to go see Dover Castle, home of Henry II and Eleanor of Acquitaine.  Words cannot express how wonderful that was!  I went in every room and took oodles of pictures.  From the throne room to the toilet, I saw it all, and loved it all!  I went up and down the steps, imagining Eleanor sweeping up them scheming all the while.  The people who own Dover Castle did a fantastic job at reconstructing what the castle would have looked like.  I was giddy with excitement. 

Also on Dover premises was a ruin of a Roman Lighthouse, which was quite wonderful!  It was nice to see some Roman work.  I always appreciate a good ruin.

After that, we all trundled back to the hotel footsore, but happy.  It was New Year’s Eve, and there was no way that I was going out at all.  So me and my four other friends (Holly, Callie, Sarah, and Heather) all stayed in together.  We had planned to get drunk on champagne, but that didn’t quite work out.  We never even finished the first bottle of Strawberry Champagne that Sarah had.  It was, in a word, terrible.

So we stayed sober for New Year’s Eve, but I’m okay with that.  I don’t really mind.  We went up to Sarah’s room on the seventh floor and got to see a bit of the fireworks, and then we all went to bed happy and content that we stayed warm and comfortable for New Year’s, instead of standing for three or four hours, smashed against countless strangers with no where to urinate. 

I definitely think our homey celebration was worth it.

January 1

Didn't wake up with a hangover!  Yay!!  I also got to sleep in, which was a fantastic gift.  Really wonderful, since today was going to be the day that I got scared out of my pants.

Sarah and I had seen and walked by something advertised as The London Dungeon.  On closer observation, we discovered that it was a scary tour with 3 roller coasters that took you through all the seedy dangerous times of London.  We both really wanted to do it, so January 1 off we went!

It was so much fun!  I was so very very scared, but it was so worth it!  They took us through the London in the 1600s with the plague, which was awesome!  They even had some rats behind glass, scampering about.  Quite awesome!!  We then had a little show on the Fire of London, and then we went over to be judged as criminals.  There was a woman in a judges wig who improved expertly!  She called one man, who was American, up on the box and teased him quite a bit, and then a little kid, and then she called on me!  I got in the box, and as soon as I opened my mouth to answer what my name was, she looked at me, and said, "Are you American?"  I nodded and she immediately said I was guilty and told me to get off the stage.  Then, as I was leaving, she told everyone to keep me away from the other American, because we might breed!  So funny!

Then we went on a ride on the Thames, our first ride.  It was a water ride, done in complete darkness, and we went backwards at one point.  So much fun!  Then we got off the ride, and were given 3D glasses and came to our second ride:  an occult madame, who accidentally filled the room with evil spirits and zombies that we had to shoot with laser guns.  It was all 3D video and it was so much fun!  It felt like I was in Left 4 Dead!  Coolio!!

We saw so much more, too!  Bloody Mary, a crypt of lost souls (a mirror maze that was so creepy!), Mrs. Lovett's Pie Shop, Sweeny Todd's Barbar shop, an excellent Jack the Ripper exhibition that had me quaking in my boots, and then finally, we went off to be hanged.  Our third and final ride.  It was the drop type of ride, like the tower of terror.  They took a picture as we went down, and, while I normally don't buy pictures like this, I couldn't resist.  Sarah's face is absolutely priceless.  She looks so mournful and scared!  It makes me giggle so much!!

It was a wonderful wonderful time!

After a quick lunch and a short rest, I set out on my own to explore the Victoria Albert, and a stupidly forgot my camera.  Yes, yes, I know.  All the groans. And while I could, and probably will, go back and take pictures of some of the sculptures, I couldn't take pictures of the things that I was really interested in:  The theatre exhibit.

They had an exhibit on "The Making of Postmodernism" which I passed over for obvious reasons.  To get to the Theatre Exhibit, I had to go through the Jewelry Room.  So much shiny!!  There were so many pretty things to look at!  Gemstones, tiaras, ancient jewelry from around the world.  They had modern jewelry, too, but it was less exciting, since there weren't any gemstones.  Who wants to wear a necklace made out of car tires?  Really?  

Another thing they had was a ring of gemstones, so that you could see what all the precious stones looked like.  It was a spiral of pretty and I oogled at it with cartoon hearts twirling around my head.  Yay for pretty and shiny!

Then, finally, I was in the theatre exhibit.  SO FREAKING COOL!!!   I saw so many many awesome things!  Mick Jagger's costume from the '72 European tour?  Saw it!  A guitar broken by The Who?  Saw it!  I saw many many costumes that famous actors wore, like Richard Burton's Henry V costume, Judi Dench's costume in the Seagull, and so much more!  They even had some Lion King costumes there.  So much fun!  

They also had a room for technical theatre, so I got to see models and sketches for a lot of plays, but, unfortunately, I didn't write any of them down, because, by that time I was in a theatre coma.  They had a model of Sweeney Todd that you could press a button and see the different lighting effects for each scene.  Drool!  

The only part of that that I didn't really like was the part where we got to see Annie Lenox's house.  It was... odd.  Very modern.  I don't think she's dead.  I'm still not very sure who she is.  Very very odd to have a person's "house" exhibited in the museum, when they're not even dead.  Doesn't that seem weird?

Anyway, after that, me and my tired footsies made their way back home to sleep.  I went to bed early, because the next day I knew was going to be amazing.  Two plays and Baker Street!